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Joke of the Day
"For the record..when you get punched in the face..it doesn't make that movie sound...at all."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the woman who blew all her money on powerball tickets? She made a lotto bad decisions...."
"It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalottapus"
"My friend asked me what a Freudian Slip means. I told him, ""It's when you mean to say one thing, but fuck your mother."""
"I've been seeing this narcoleptic girl lately, it's going really well. I'm saving a fortune on Rohypnol."
"What do you call a car accident between two Nissan pick-up trucks? Crash of the Titans"
"When Sarah Jessica Parker got married She must have had one hell of a bridle shower."
"1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively"
"What do you call a blind gynecologist? A pain in the ass"