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Joke of the Day

"Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention? Cause William Shatner Coffee. hahahha"

"Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you're up. Million dollar idea."

"Where does a toilet keep his secrets? In his diarrhea."

"Why can't bikes stand up on their own? They are two tired."

"One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high."

"I called the rape advice hotline.... .... but they said it was only for victims"

"As an american, I feel really sorry for the Canadians up north. I mean, how do they even live if their summer is 30 degrees?"

"How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hehe... 'screw' Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one."

"My family and I are going camping for Memorial Weekend. I asked my mother if I could bring my trombone so I can practice, but she said no, because we might get ***banned.***"

"Jim: I'm totally spacing out on a word. Me: OK J: What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink? M: Linda."