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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix Nyquil and MiraLAX? Relaxatives."

"Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You know who you are. I probably should be too, but this isn't about me."

"I saw a movie trailer about 30 trapped chillean miners... Apparently Jared from subway had a stash... (I'm so sorry about this, I just thought of it and needed to get it out)"

"What does it sound like to shoot yourself in the foot twice? Pao! Pao!"

"Worst Geometry Joke I Know When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides? When it is intercepted by a plane."

"Yesterday my doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating. I asked, ""Why is that, doc?"" He replied, ""I'm trying to examine you."""

"My mom asked me how my cooking final was I said it was a piece of cake :)"

"What do you call an epileptic in the garden? Seizure salad"

"I lost my virginity last week But it's fine. Turns out it was just between the couch cushions."

"Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year? They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom."