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Joke of the Day

"I'm walking a mile in someone elses shoes today. Not to be tolerant; but because I can't find mine and my son wears the same size."

"It would be nice if Republicans and Democrats could work together to limit Nicolas Cage to 6 movies a year."

"When life hands you melons, you know you're dyslexic."

"If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife."

"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"

"Holmes said to his brother, ""Mycroft, all this heroin that Watson administers is making me terribly constipated."" And Mycroft responded, ""No shit, Sherlock?"""

"How many cops does it take to push a man down the stairs? None, he fell."

"What do you call a peaceful Bruce Lee? Gent Lee (Gently)"

"DiCaprio movie endings; Shutter Island: is he dead? Titanic: is the boat dead? Romeo & Juliet: is everyone dead? Inception: am I dead?"

"Infected with AIDS If someone infected with AIDS fucks everyday, what happens? They kill everything that they fuck."