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Joke of the Day

"Setting a teachers salary based on student performance is akin to paying a zookeeper based on how well the monkeys are behaving."

"An ear doctor gets a phone call from a patient and asks him to describe the symptoms. He says, ""they're yellow, Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair"". [Source](http://m.imgur.com/gallery/3axkvOQ)"

"What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet! "

"What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison? One's a pro, and one's a con."

"Why doesn't America knock? Because freedom rings"

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung"

"I'm trying to get in shape and be more politically correct. I rehydrate with LGBTQtorade"

"What do you call a Jewish piano? A cash register."

"My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!"

"I love to play with my balls. I've been trying to meet a woman with the same hobby."