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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, I used to dream about swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Now I realize that it was just a fanta-sea."

"I hate three things (1) Posting on /r/Jokes (2) Lists (3) Irony"

"If I had two bathrooms I'd tell everyone someone died in one, I ain't tryna clean two bathrooms"

"I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets."

"TIFU by getting and STD from my Grandma she gave me hepatitis G"

"How many friend-Zoned Guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and then get pissed off when it wont screw."

"Humans: we're not like snakes Also Humans: mmmm eggs"

"I've never fucked a poofter, but I've fucked a bloke who has."

"Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni but they got plane"

"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Ten-ish"