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Joke of the Day

"Can you imagine how fast those clowns who make balloon animals can roll a joint."

"TIL the Airbus A380, the world's largest passenger airliner, shares a type rating with yo momma! Clearly we need more nerdy yo momma jokes."

"All subjects can be funny with the right delivery, Except abortion jokes. Which by definition have no delivery."

"Buy a boat, name it Relation. Now you can tell people that you have a relationship."

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"What do you call someone who likes speed? Racist."

"What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records."

"Where do swashbuckling turds come from? A pirates booty"

"I like to tell people ""it's a black thing, you wouldn't understand.""And they'd be all ""but you're white"" I told ya you wouldn't understand."

"[in a bar] Him: Trouble is my middle name. Me: wow... That's a stupid middle name. You must hate your parents. Him: *breaks down crying"