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Joke of the Day

"Talk to your doctor about Chillaxin (Side-effects include incontinence, hallucinations, drooling, naps, shy dooky & death)"

"An atheist, a vegan and a crossfitter walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."

"Well well well, if isn't the girl who gave me cooties in third grade..."

"Why should you never bet on Germany at the Olympics? They have the worst track record for finishing a race."

"A local policeman did a talk on heroin It was impossible to understand him"

"If you need a ride to the airport, give me at least two weeks notice so I'll have a chance to clear my schedule and die"

"Q: What's the highest position in the Greek Navy? A: Rear Admiral!"

"I never shower. No hobo."

"I'm not desperate because i'm single, i'm single because i'm not desperate."

"My boss said when I'm at work, I should lay off the Doritos. I said ""you're the boss if you wanna fire Bob Dorito and his brother you do it"""