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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Sarah Palin's hoo-ha and her mouth? Only half the stuff that comes out of her hoo-ha is retarded."

"I said to my girlfriend, ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what fucking hit it."

"I learned all I need to know about how to treat my coworkers by watching every Saw movie at least ten times."

"Recently, a Catholic hair stylist made news traveling around slandering the pope and Catholicism, angering many members of the faith. The pope denounced him... calling him a ""hair-a-tick"""

"What does an obese white woman have in common with a brick? Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican."

"A bear walks into a bar. When he get to the bar he says ""I' ll have a rum and.......coke."" ""Why the long pause?"" asks the bartender. The bear replies ""Well, I am a bear"""

"Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day."

"What gives a ghost the right to haunt people? A haunting license"

"My idiot friend wanted to get into porn. He heard that the camera adds ten pounds."

"My rebellious teenage son robbed our local Chinese food restaurant ""You stole all of their chicken?!"" Tso"