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Joke of the Day

"Jason Bateman origin story: On a field trip to a scientific lab as a teen, he was bitten by a radioactive Jason Bate."

"What do men and women have in common? They both distrust men."

"By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with."

"What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord? A-minor"

"What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex? Honey, I'm home!"

"Whats the last thing to go through a bugs mind as it hits the windshield of your car? Its asshole."

"What do hipster jokes and hipsters have in common? None of them are original."

"Two tomatoes are sitting in a refrigerator One turns to the other and says: ""It's really cold in here"". and the other one says: [""JESUS CHRIST A TALKING TOMATO!!""](/spoiler)"

"my friend's apartment building burned down so he's at his parents' and he still won't hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET"

"If he hurts you, cry a river and then drown him in it."