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Joke of the Day

"Jason Bateman origin story: On a field trip to a scientific lab as a teen, he was bitten by a radioactive Jason Bate."

"I don't like cocaine I only like the smell."

"One ply toilet paper. Get in touch with your inner self."

"Why do Native Americans make the best strippers? Their dancing can make it rain."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in lindsay Ontario. Couldn't find three wise men. Or a virgin..."

"A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing. 'He's like a fish out of water.' You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' No, I mean he's dead.'"

"I heard the news about Mr. Ali's passing... I was pretty upset. So why am I in the mood for a giant chocolate shake?"

"What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire."

"Jack and John A guy in a plane stood up and shouted ""Hijack!"" Everyone panicked. From the other end of the plane a man stood up and shouted back ""Hi John!"""

"*job interview* Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form"