156363

Joke of the Day

"Today, my son asked me why girls always pee sitting down I told him it's because they're lazy Not necessarily a joke but kinda funny nonetheless."

"What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A Ducktor."

"Knock knock (Your turn)"

"The apocalypse is apparently signaled by trumpets... ...might have been a typo though, it could have been Trump/Pence"

"How do you make a dog float? Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog."

"What were the old-time gangster's last words? ""Who put this fucking violin in my violin case?!"""

"What do call a bad haircut you got from a Native American? A-patchy scalping Edit: Changed haircut to scalping. Because that's what I came up with this morning."

"Belgium is a leading producer of beer, chocolate, and weapons. I picture a country full of very well-armed fat people. Another one, I mean."

"I've heard addicts claim that heroin became their ""God"" but... ...they're always taking his name in vein."

"One man's whore is another man's whore."