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Joke of the Day
"What medication that can make people inspire you? Aspirin sorry guys"
Next Joke
"""YES, MOM! NO CRUST! You've been making my sandwiches for 37 years now, STOP ASKING!"" *mom leaves crust on so you'll finally move out*"
"if u pressed the right numbers on yr phone u could be talking to dwayne the rock johnson in 20 seconds"
"A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright sunny day."
"Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily."
"It's Earth Day... FUCK Uranus!"
"me: How many calls do I get? cop: one me: What do you think is more likely? a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel?"
"Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one"
"What's the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? The epileptic corn shucker shucks between fits."
"What do you call riot police in Germany? Kraut Control"