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Joke of the Day

"What was the suicide bomber greeted by in the afterlife? A group of 40 other suicide bombers."

"""Flight 1234 for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.."" ""But Center we are at 35000 feet how much noise can we make up here?"" ""Sir have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?"""

"I hate when my kids say ""But mom; it was an accident!"" So were you pumpkin, but I still have to take responsibility for you."

"Panties are just overpriced wrapping paper."

"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once"

"I heard they wanted to do an Asian version of Drive but there's already a movie called Crash."

"What is Justin Timberlake's favourite Ukrainian river? The Crimea River."

"So a police officer is called out to the scene where a Mercedes is wrapped around a tree, He said ""Well, I guess that's the way the Mercedes Benz"""

"*sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* ""No no, allow me"" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*"

"I hate it when restraining orders get in the way of meaningful relationships. Well played future wife. You win this round"