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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl? An Alley-Gator"

"How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? Sorry, your Quest to whore karma is currently unavailable. Please try again later."

"My mom saw me crying in my room and asked what's wrong. I told her I feel like I didn't exist. She told me I do exist because im a pain in the ass."

"got kicked out of the supermarket for eating off of the shelf, but since I was only eating cat food they didnt call the cops like last time."

"Of course your milkshake brings the boys to the yard. What boy doesn't love milkshakes? If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed."

"I hired a golf pro to tell me what's wrong with my tee shots He said I was standing too close to the ball, after I hit it."

"I was asked who my favorite x-men was. I guess Caitlyn Jenner wasn't a good answer"

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me!"

"Dance like nobody's watching you. 'Cause they're not. Nobody cares. ~Inspirational tweet~"

"My dog is called cigarette as he's got no legs Every evening I take him for a drag"