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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him... Like his hairy behind and his wife."

"What do you call a masturbating bull? Beef Stroganoff"

"what do you call that worthless flap of skin around a vagina a woman"

"Everything's so politically correct nowadays that you can't even say ""black paint."" Instead you have to say ""Jamaal please paint my fence."""

"My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender."

"Me: I want a... Debit card: Nope. Me: Ok. Just making sure."

"ah, mercury's going retrograde, that explains why i accidentally squandered my entire youth"

"Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world."

"When life gives you melons... don't burn the pot roast."

"Help! I'm a fat man trapped in a skinny body!"