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Joke of the Day

"Officer: I'll need to see a photo ID. Me: (pulling out a selfie at an R.E.M. concert) That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight."

"The One-Step Guide To Be A Hipster 1. Don't follow this guide."

"A dad in Alabama says to his son... ""We entered this world from the same birth canal."""

"Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life."

"What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup? I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup"

"Why did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand store!"

"I invented a new joke today! Plagiarism!"

"What happened to the fireman who let the house burn? He got fired."

"What did the Hurricane say to the Palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this ain't going to be any ordinary Blow Job!!"

"BOY: Dad , is a mermaid girl or a fish ? DAD : Well son that depends weather you are HORNY or HUNGRY ."