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Joke of the Day

"A guy at work just bought me ice cream and now we're making out. I've never been this intimate with ice cream before."

"AMD should make a self-driving car... ...because they specialize in creating things that don't come with drivers."

"Women and farting... Why do women hardly ever fart... Because they don't shut their mouth long enough to build up any pressure."

"How tall are the twin towers? 9"" 11"

"How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Anything, what's he gonna do about it?"

"What does an impatient cow say? Mooove the fuck out my way"

"Feel like Woods household right now is a bunch of people brainstorming, ""what is any other plausible reason for this accident?"""

"I believe I can flyyy. I believe I can touch the skyyy. I believe I was mistaaaken. I believe I'm faaalling. I believe I'm gonna diiiie."

"What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ? A phantomime !"