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Joke of the Day

"Feel like Woods household right now is a bunch of people brainstorming, ""what is any other plausible reason for this accident?"""

"Why shouldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman."

"Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists? They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. [explanation](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slit_experiment)"

"Two cannibals were having lunch. ""Your wife makes a great soup"" said one to the other. ""Yes!"" agreed the first. ""But I'm going to miss her terribly."""

"A member of ISIS accidentally blew himself up... Well, Ji-had it coming."

"A Buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand The monk says, ""Make me one with everything."""

"When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me I was never scared though, I loved disco music"

"A mouse jumped out of my stove, but I couldn't catch it. It was out of my range."

"Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body? Dumbbelldor."

"[on a date] Play it cool don't let her know you're a refrigerator [her ex-boyfriend turns off the electricity] ""This isn't cool man."""