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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call Santa's helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses."

"SPOILER ALERT: In the book ""What to Expect When You're Expecting,"" it's a baby. You're expecting a baby."

"The best thing after an intensive argument is the reconciliation sex... ...but boy, do I hate to argue with my in-laws."

"Oh, you said floppy DISK. *pulls pants back up* Yeah, I don't know what that is."

"What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him? ""Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"""

"Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend? Cause Sheeran."

"Owls would be so much cooler if they could also say 'are you'"

"What did one condom say to the other while passing a gay bar? Lets go in there and get shit faced."

"How heavy is a photon? I don't know, but it's probably light-weight"

"Hey people who don't understand sarcasm, what's it like being so awesome?"