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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Mexicans ignore the ""No Trespassing"" sign? It was just the two of them."

"You enter. ""I've been expecting you,"" I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins."

"It's sad that some of you need to berate others to feel better about yourselves. Idiots."

"Saw a really attractive woman the other day... She was wearing a miniskirt and a really low-cut shirt and I kept thinking to myself, ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" She did...."

"Why was Steve Jobbs funeral an open casket? So the attendees could get some face-time."

"Which trigonometric fatio is obsessed with the pokemon Suicune? EuSINE"

"Man comes running in the door at home all excited. ""Honey, pack your bags! I won the lottery"" she asks ""should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"" I don't care. Just get the fuck out."

"Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin looks at the other one and say, ""Oh my god we're gonna die in here!"" The other muffin looks back and says, ""Holy Moly! A talking muffin!"""

"The Water Fight Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids. I won! No one's a match for me and my kettle."

"Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence."