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Joke of the Day

"Pilot: Tower please call me a fuel truck. Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck."

"It's my birthday today and, as a special treat, my wife has said I can have anything I want tonight. Her arse will be red raw tomorrow. Curry for dinner."

"Yelling ""YOU MONSTER!"" after someone farts in a public bathroom feels pretty great."

"I hope this year they have the courage to legalize diarrhea."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free."

"What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii? Moo moos"

"I couldn't understand why the battery in my cell phone was always flat. Then it occurred to me; it wouldn't fit if it was any other shape."

"Did you hear about the dispensary that was selling suppositories? It turns out they were just blowing smoke up everyone's ass."

"Why did Sally fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. ""knock knock"" ""whose there?"" ""not sally!"""

"Sometimes when I say ""I'm OK"", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say ""You're not OK"" and hand me $10,000."