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Joke of the Day

"*robbers burst into bank* EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS UPDOG *bank manager frowns* What's updog? WE'RE ROBBING THIS BANK WHAT'S UP WITH YOU"

"If your soviet girlfriend wants to take it slow Don't Russia"

"You know you are getting old when you have to scroll down, scroll down, and scroll down some more, to select the year you were born."

"Employer: ""In this job we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."""

"I usually like to go fishing... Just for the halibut"

"Yo mama so fat... She takes up more mass than her thin friend."

"Yo Momma so fat she clogs up the tunnel even after rush hour."

"Any bar is a karaoke bar if you're drunk enough."

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meet Patty!"

"What's the difference between the bird flu and the the swine flu? For bird flu you need tweetment, for swine flu you need oinkment."