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Joke of the Day

"What do The Police do to catch criminals easily? Sting operation, of course!"

"Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife"

"What do The Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? The both circle Uranus and get rid of Klingons."

"What did Jay Sherman say about your breath? It stinks!"

"What do you call a wall st. executive that sucks at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend? A broke stalker!"

"There's a good chance this chocolate cake will need rape counseling after I'm done."

"Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because they'll melt."

"I don't understand why people can't just check their kids at the airport with the rest of their baggage."

"Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up"