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Joke of the Day

"There is a huge body of evidence to support the notion that me and the police were put on this earth to do extremely different things."

"So a horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""They wouldn't renew Sex and the City for another season."""

"I think if a trained monkey could drive a car, cook & give out money, my kids wouldn't notice it wasn't me. I need a monkey."

"I never thought they would make another Jurassic Park... ...But sequels, uh, find a way."

"What's an epileptic's least favorite pizza place? Little Seizures."

"What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flamethrower"

"Did you hear about the terrible kidnapping? Yeah. He woke up. :)"

"Why aren't there any jokes about the Jonestown massacre? The punch line takes too long."

"My wife has threatened to leave me if I don't give up my obsession with horoscopes. It's too late, it already Taurus apart."

"Yes, 911?... Yeah, this guy is wearing green-colored skinny jeans and he has a really hot girlfriend. So do I judge him...or her?"