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Joke of the Day

"I just deleted the same tweet twice for two different typos and now I can't tweet it again because it's already been stolen"

"I really suck at school, the only time I got an A+ is at the blood test."

"I named my daughter Dagstorp after where she was conceived (Ikea sofa)"

"I used to pretend that broccoli florets were treetops and I was a giant eating up the forest while my Dad pretended he had a manly son."

"My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago. The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed."

"What is the first symptom of AIDS? Pounding in the anus"

"How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb? A what?"

"Uuhhhhckkk. Pants are the worst."

"What's another name for a Jew? A sneeze."

"How does Soylent Green taste? It varies from person to person."