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Joke of the Day

"Guard dog? Service dog? Yeah, yeah... When earth is invaded by evil aliens that look like pony tail holders, our cat will be a hero."

"They told me that finishing last in the marathon is nothing to be ashamed of. Its completing the event that's important. Nevertheless, that didn't make my gangbang experience any better."

"Maybe the reason that goats are so angry is because they don't have hands to stroke those magnificent beards with while pondering quandaries"

"Oh. You lost your phone and it's on silent? If you like it, you should've put a ring on it."

"Q: What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous? A: Shark infested mashed potatoes."

"How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear? It was a brief chase..."

"Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Then a man comes up and exposes himself to them. Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn't reach"

"""YOLNT"" -Cats"

"H: Is there anything new you want to try in bed? M: Actually... *stretches out alone in bed, sleeps for 8 hours* M: That was amazing."

"What is it called when Lebron James has sex? Bron-choitus"