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Joke of the Day

"How Britons shower. The same as you, dummy. First, we get nice and wet. Then we get the tea."

"FROM THE FIRST BITE YOU CAN TELL CELERY DOESN'T WANT TO BE EATEN"

"What's better than getting a gold medal at the paralympics? Having legs."

"*Aims for the moon* *hits curb*"

"I bought crappy music for 5 cents today, but the guy ripped me off. As he ran off, I yelled ""Hey, I want my nickel back!"""

"Couple claiming Virginity: Girl:If this Is your 1st time,then how did u do it so well? Boy:If this Is your 1st time,then how do u know that i did well???"

"Came up with this lame one... What do you call a posh shop that sells kitchen appliances? Selfridges."

"What do you call Japanese people that fly planes? Pirates."

"whats 12 inches long and snaps a cunt? a selfie stick."

"Starbucks coffee and Adam Hills. ""Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You're going to get it, but its going to be rough."" Adam Hills"