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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you kill a queen bee? Pesticide."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass."

"Babe.. [gets down on one knee] I'm [gets down on the other knee] so [lays down on belly] tired [zzzzzzzzzz]"

"How did Reddit not fell down yet? I mean, it is only hanging by threads..."

"[job interview] ""Why do you want to leave your current job?"" My boss is a total idiot ""It says here you're self-employed?"" Yes that's right"

"ON THE INTERNET : Ughh.. I hate people so much.. APPLYING FOR JOB : I love working with people and I am very sociable"

"What's the difference between a dirty old bus station and a lobster with boobs? A repost."

"One of my favourites Women's rights."

"I called the bowling alley today and asked if they had 10 pound balls. He said ""yes"", which I thought was amazing for how fast he was able to run to the phone."

"[call] MOM: please be safe in the snowstorm. ME: idgaf about snow i'm a gangster. MOM: what? ME: i said thanks for calling i love you."