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Joke of the Day

"Picking a Xmas gift for your wife is hard, so I've decided to deplete our bank account, fake my own death & move to Thailand She'll love it"

"Do you like hot women that scream in bed? Check out the burns unit at the hospital."

"They should just draw a fart on the car A/C ""recirculate"" button."

"How long does it take Han Solo to screw in a light bulb? less than twelve parsecs."

"""anyone for turkey burgers?"" turkey: well sure haha ""oh, it's not a burger for turkeys"" turkey: what is it then ""uhh"" turkey: say it"

"The policeman asked me why I keep beating my wife... I told him I have a longer reach and superior footwork."

"If experience has taught me anything, I've forgotten what it was."

"Wrote Santa A letter asking for a baby brother Wrote Santa a letter asking for a baby brother. Santa wrote back... ""Send me your mother"""

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!! (someone date me please)"

"Hey girl, are you my appendix? Because I'm not completely sure how you work, but this strange feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."