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Joke of the Day

"I had to grease a lot of palms to get to where I am today *cut to me oiling up tropical trees* haha excellent"

"it's cool when my one dog shits the other one has to go and inspect it like ""just as i suspected guys. it's shit."""

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids"

"I just saw a can of ginger ale that wasn't on an airplane and it looked really uncomfortable."

"What do you call a Sasquatch that is never on time? Not Yeti"

"I know a woman who owns a taser... Let me tell you, she's stunning!"

"Jesus, my local time travel club postponed their meeting again.. Now its last week"

"What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel? I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place."

"I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure."

"What do you call a snobby thief running down your stairs? A condescending con descending."