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Joke of the Day

"Pick something up. You just applied more force on that object than the gravity of an entire planet. Earth, do you even lift?"

"What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day? Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!"

"My paper boy is Jamaican... My paper is always late, and it's always rolled nice and tight"

"What time does an engineer set his alarm clock for? Around Thevenin the morning"

"'I like big butts and I cannot lie.' - homeless guy rummaging through an ashtray."

"My dad told me... My dad told me that if I don't get off reddit now he would slam my face on the keybioshdauiewbnfkbhwFIOEWJHFUI9WREFH p9efyh WHBUHF WFH89WRQ FUIWF QUIUIRP P"

"You know what is ironic about Whitney Houston dying in her bath tub? She was taking swimming lessons at that time"

"ok honey, you're going to love this movie. all you need to know is that ""robocop"" is short for ""robot cop"""

"What do you call an aborted baby Spawn Kill"

"How did the pig get to the hospital? in a hambulance."