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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: what are your future plans? Me: lunch Interviewer: I meant long term plans Me: what, like dinner?"

"What did the guy say to the funny drug dealer? ""You really crack me up dude!"" The drug dealer responds with: ""How much?"""

"How do bored cows sound like? Meh"

"Life is like a penis. Sometimes it's hard."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in lightbulb? It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word ""screw"" is."

"Why did the obtuse triangle go to the beach? Because it was more than 90 degrees."

"Which country has the most millionaires? Zimbabwe."

"What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)"

"Two ships crashed in the night one ship was carrying red paint the other blue The survivors were marooned"

"How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her!"