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Joke of the Day

"One time in band camp... They threatened me with eternal torture. Oh wait that was Bible camp."

"I killed a man once, because killing him twice is a physical impossibility."

"What's a snakes favourite TV program ? Monty Python!"

"Garcinia Cambogia."

"If you take the word ""spatula"" out of the dictionary it's just a list of things that aren't spatulas."

"""Cool, I'll check 'em out!"" -my lie to any person recommending a band to me"

"I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there's that...."

"What do a gang member and a redneck have in common? They both know how to throw a good hoe down."

"I was once blind for a couple of years... It was a very dark time in my life."

"I almost had a threesome once. I only needed two more people."