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Joke of the Day

"Wife wants to relax today! Wife: Today, I want to relax, so I have brought three movie tickets. Husband: why three tickets? Wife: you and your parents."

"What happens when Bosnian terrorists start attacking municipal government buildings? It Herzegovina"

"What is green and slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger..."

"Why did Ahmed take his clock to school? He wanted to see time fly"

"I beat off with a hammer cuz I'm bad to the bone."

"Why Does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients."

"If Charmin had any idea where I was sticking their toilet paper, I doubt they'd spend so much time on the pretty little designs."

"People ask me, ""Matt, how do you do it?"" , ""Matt, what's your secret?"" , ""Matt, why do you make up imaginary interview questions?"""

"The idea that someone would be upset NOT to be invited to a wedding is so confusing to me."

"This banker I know has absolutely no friends... I think he's loanly"