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Joke of the Day

"A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, ""How much for a beer?""The bartender replied, ""For you, no charge."""

"1. that's not a pregnancy test, and 2. you're pissing on my flash drive"

"I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him."

"I don't believe in anything I can't see, hear or touch, like calories. My thighs, however, are clearly very gullible."

"""That was mesmerizing!"" I know another big word... huge."

"[biologists find beached whale] its a new species what can we call it? [surfer walks by] yo killer whale bro [biologists look at each other]"

"If Jesus is the Lamb of God? Does that mean mary had a little lamb?"

"I accidently put my USB through the washing machine It's still works, but it's really clean now. All the porn is gone."

"Why do Muslims hate Hitler? My friend told me this 'joke' after he found out I was Muslim. Him: Why do Muslims hate Hitler? Me: Why? Him: He didn't kill ALL the Jews."

"Q. Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast? A. Ihop"