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Joke of the Day
"""Hello! Thanks for calling the urology department."" Please hold"
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"I have nothing in common with people that learn from their mistakes"
"I went to the store today and bought a movie called ""Tiger Woods' 18 Greatest Holes"" When I got home, I was disappointed, it was about golf"
"Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator."
"My wife left me for my brother My twin brother."
"Why do blind people always laugh at jokes? Same as why they don't drive. They never see it comming."
"I have my headphones on, but judging by the reactions, that was an audible fart."
"I want minions for Christmas."
"Everything's racist these days. You can't even say ""black paint"" anymore. You have to say ""Tyrone, paint that wall""."
"What is the definition of disappointment? Running into wall with a boner and breaking your nose."