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Joke of the Day

"Girls on Facebook call it, ""The Walk of Shame."" Girls on Twitter call it, ""The Strut of Satisfaction"""

"The worst part of Thanksgiving is all of the leftovers... and having to heat them up every time I want to eat since I quit cold turkey."

"I have HIV Hair is vanishing"

"Toddlers are the only life form that can exist entirely on their own snot, one goldfish cracker, and half a chicken nugget a day."

"Imagine a place where you can buy everything related to the Sith and the Dark Side It would be called the Darth Mall... ...and everything would be half off"

"Fifty Shades of Grey was disappointing. All those blindfolds and not a single person swung at a pinata."

"ME: someone stole my credit card number BANK: why would they spend $187 at a hot dog stand? ME: [hangs head in shame] that wasn't them"

"How much energy does it take to create a rap star? 1.21 Jigga whats."

"Did you hear about the porn star who wanted to do a scene with all five members of Aerosmith? It didn't quite work out. They could only get Foreigner"

"Some people came to my door asking for donations to the local pool. So I went and poured them a glass of water."