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Joke of the Day

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on euthanasia. The librarian says, ""I'll do my best to assist you""."

"You're supposed to throw rice at new babies and their mothers, right? Traditions are weird."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my dad. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"So a man walks into a... All you just got to do is finish it."

"What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere."

"If a bear attacks you, play dead. Ok good, you're about to feel like this forever"

"My name is Holly. What's my drunk superhero name? AlcoHolly."

"Experts are close to classifying internet addiction as a mental illness. They just need to check one more thing. And Facebook. And Twitter."

"If people had to spell something correctly before being allowed to criticize it, the internet would be a much more peaceful place."

"Apparently, when they say 'black tie' they expect you to wear more than just a black tie. Like I'm a mind reader."