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Joke of the Day
"If Samuel L. Jackson was a Knight He'd be Ye Olde Motherfucker"
Next Joke
"Two cows are standing in a field. One cow turns to the other and says, ""Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease?"" The other one looks at him and says, ""Good thing I'm a helicopter."""
"I wonder how long it will be before ""You look like a million bucks"" is an insult. #inflation"
"Me: My dog has gone missing Dog pound: What colour is it? Me: Brown Dog pound: Sex? Me [turns to wife]: Has the dog lost his virginity?"
"What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried? Fruit of the tomb"
"SEO Expert walks into a bar... An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey..."
"It doesn't matter what you order at Taco bell... You're going to end up with Taco-ria"
"So I was walking home from work.... And I saw this black guy carrying a tv and I thought it was mine but then I ran home and mine was still there shining my shoes."
"Relevant advice. Remember everyone, if you're attacked by a group of clowns. Go right for the juggler."
"I've whittled my Starbucks order down to 11 minutes so don't you dare tell me about sacrifice."