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Joke of the Day

"iPhone chargers are like arguments with a woman some days you have 1, some days you have 5"

"Children change a lot of things like now if I get lost in a corn maze I just lay down and take a nap or run toward the guy with a chainsaw."

"Remember to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time."

"What do a plate of homemade brownies and a golden shower have in common? Urine for a treat."

"My new years resolution is the same as last year. 1920x1080"

"Bruce Willis angrily returns a cheese grater to the store, ""IT DID NOT MAKE THE CHEESE GREATER! IT JUST MADE LOTS OF LITTLE CHEESE"" he fumes"

"When you first meet a potential partner, slap them in the face. That way, later on in the relationship they cant say, 'you don't treat me like you used too!'"

"J. J. Abrams wanted to make Luke's lightsaber red but it wasn't greenlighted."

"Opinions are like assholes.. Everybody's got one; Most of them aren't that pretty; and No one needs another one."

"75% of women who say 'G-strings are more comfortable than regular underwear', know that men hear 'I like things in my butt'."