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Joke of the Day

"When the imaginary zebras start sawing off your legs, it's time to lay off the hard stuff."

"Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin? Because it was a kitty fiddler."

"A mexican walks into a wall, what breaks first? His lawnmower. A jew runs into a wall, what breaks first? His nose."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables."

"Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says ""oh, you want to see crazy?"" Reassure her that you do not."

"I asked my friend if he knew binary he said ""yeah I took the 101 class"""

"Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'."

"If your mule ate my prize winning bird, what would you have? My 3 foot cock in your ass!"

"I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established."

"How do supernatural entities cum? They have poltergasms"