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Joke of the Day

"Say ""I won a math debate"" 5 times really fast! Now slap yourself for being such a pervert."

"I was walking down the street one day when I heard someone playing Dancing Queen and Mamma Mia on the didgeridoo. That's Abba-rigonal"

"Dad did you manage to fix my toy? No it's not broken the battery's flat. Well what shape should it be?"

"Keep calm and text a random number...""I'm pregnant"""

"I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me."

"If I had a dollar for every time a girl found me unattractive . . . Pretty soon Id be attractive"

"Marriage after kids is basically two zookeepers arguing about who has to clean up the monkey poop on a daily basis."

"Why is glue white? If it were black it would run. It just wouldn't work."

"What does DNA Helicase and a 16 year old boy have in common? the both want to unzip your genes. if you didnt get it: https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121209104938AAKihOC"

"""I don't have time for this shit!"" I thought, as I sat on the toilet, angry, and late for work."