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Joke of the Day

"Cute Internet Girl: This guy is pretty funny, I think I'll fol- Me: *Human Cannonballs my way into her living room* HELLO!"

"Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can't help thinking...I'll never have abs like that."

"I found a T.O.E. It's on the end of my F.O.O.T."

"Bert : 'Ernie, do you want to get some icecream?' Ernie : 'Sherbert'"

"What is metallic and if enters through your eye can kill you? A train"

"[LPT] Always read the comment section of LPTs. There's always a better LPT."

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable ? The wheelchair"

"What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A pussy makes your cock feel nice and makes you cum, a cunt is who owns the pussy."

"I was going to make one of those Bitstrips cartoons, but then I decided to pick the lint out of my belly button instead. I'm pretty sure I came out ahead"

"I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly."