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Joke of the Day
"Decided to watch the lunar eclipse tonight... Couldn't see the moon"
Next Joke
"[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?"
"""Dude, what's with the outfit?"" ""Bruh, I got a job as a bouncer"" *hops away in kangaroo costume*"
"I asked a girl back to my place to enjoy the works of Michel Houellebecq. But she said she ain't no Houellebecq girl."
"How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes."
"What to you call a Russian flea ? A Moscow-ito !"
"""People want to drink a panic attack."" -- inventor of 5 Hour Energy"
"I feel like life would be so much more enjoyable if punching bags and pinatas were strategically placed throughout the day"
"Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents? Cos it's tear-able."
"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor? A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard."