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Joke of the Day
"Decided to watch the lunar eclipse tonight... Couldn't see the moon"
Next Joke
"Show me on this doll where the bad man gave you a skewed perspective of a female body"
"I thought it was you A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, ""You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"""
"If you draw a picture of a butthole on the questionnaire, there's a 95% chance you'll get out of jury duty. Would be 100%. But, Texas."
"""It's complicated"" relationship status = someone cheated but we signed a lease."
"Username poop_dude: you have been banned from the Constipation Forums. Reason: arrogance"
"She doesn't follow Newton's law I give her a stare but she doesn't give me an equal and opposite reaction"
"*cop pulls me over* ""Sir do you-"" You a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop ""What?"" You seem cool. Wanna buy some weed? *pause* ""Yes"""
"Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing"
"The term ""Expecting a baby"" implies uncertainty. Like we're almost sure it's a baby, but could also be a bushel of potatoes, who knows"