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Joke of the Day

"[very obviously being hit on] hahaha ok well, see you around [4 days later, cutting open a cantaloupe] wait a second"

"Women age like fine wine... In my basement"

"What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date? Shore."

"Why can't Ganondorf go on the internet? There are too many Links."

"I like to think my father is looking down from heaven and smiling, but he's actually at an Indian casino with his new wife."

"What do comedians do when they get tired of doing standup comedy? Sitcoms"

"If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks what would you get? Milk and quackers!"

"""All dressed up and nowhere to go."" - penguins"

"i like my women like i like my coffee roasted, ground up, and suspended in hot water"

"Being in a vortex Must really suck"