149202

Joke of the Day

"This is a fine day for Brian Fitzpatrick He can finally marry his long-time partner, Patrick Fitzbrian."

"him: what did you do all day? *steps aside to reveal 12 cats taped together* Me: it's a purrrramid!"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tyred. Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom."

"I used to be a plastic surgeon. That raised a few eyebrows..."

"Two pretzels were walking down the street... And one was a-salted."

"What concert costs $0.45 50 Cent with Nickelback as the opening act."

"I'm starting a band. It'll be called ""The disease"" just so I can call Chris Martin to tell him he is part of neither the cure nor the disease."

"Skinny friend: Bananas are super high in sugar. Why would you eat them if you want to lose weight? Me: Good point. *Grabs Kit Kat"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Sent back if it's not hot enough."

"My boys are gamers and I'm single It's like a race to see who can use the most batteries"