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Joke of the Day

"I was asleep in a forest... ...Then suddenly woke up and saw a grizzly bent over my face. Bear ass."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck"

"""Hi, I'm Anne Hathaway for Proactiv. I've been blessed with great skin, I'm just lucky I guess, but I totally support you if you need this."""

"""Shotgun!"" I yell as I push past the others and climb into the seat. I am subsequently escorted from the airplane."

"I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today... He asked me to help him check his balance.... So I pushed the fucker over."

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Who threw that? Gary, was that you? Don't act innocent, I know you download music illegally."

"[Request] Jokes about fruit juice? I know it's random ^^ sorry I've been tasked with finding jokes/puns or even short skits about fruit juice (for school). Thanks in advance for your replies :)"

"When did 888 equal zero???? When Eight ate eight"

"What did the waitress say to the man who wouldn't stop staring at her while she refilled his glass? Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!"

"My biggest weakness has been that I get attached very quickly. ~Superglue, probably.."