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Joke of the Day
"I just came across a group of elderly fish... Old School."
Next Joke
"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the shit out of their dog!"
"[friend consoling me through bad break up] ""You need to eat, Luke. You can't just sit there"" *i start crying more* Karen & I used to eat"
"I may be a terrible lover with a tiny penis... ... but the ladies who know me say I can hold my own."
"If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut."
"I just asked Siri ""Surely it's not going to rain today?"". Siri replied ""It is, and don't call me Shirley."" I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode"
"This joke was the first post I ever made! Did you hear the one about Kevin Ware? He turned White Man Can't Jump into Black Man Can't Land."
"I had my first date last night! Such an underrated fruit."
"I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something."
"Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey"