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Joke of the Day
"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her."
Next Joke
"What do cows do for fun? They go to the mooooo-vies."
"A man walks into a zoo, and the only animal he sees there is a dog. It's a shitzu."
"According to my doctor, it'd be healthiest to stay away from trans fats. I'm really going to miss tumblr."
"How does every black joke start? By looking over your shoulder."
"This joke tops everything. This joke everything."
"5 female pigs + 5 male deer What do you get when you have 5 female pigs and 5 male deer? 10 sows and bucks (say it out loud)"
"[commercial for college] *person shoveling money into furnace* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better way?"
"After a long journey Frodo and Sam arrive to return the One Ring to the fires of Mt. Doom Frodo: Dude dont be mad, but I forgot the receipt"
"Me: You never told me you were on the debate team in college.. Her: Yes I did. Me: No you didn't. Her: Yes I did. Me: Oh you're good!"