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Joke of the Day

"The band 1024 Megabytes is coming to town. It's their first gig."

"It would be rather appropriate to die during sex. We come *into* this world naked and screaming..."

"I went in to hospital for an operation... I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said: ""Sure, knock yourself out""."

"Judge: How do you find the defendant? Jury Foreman: Well...I guess I just look right at him. Why -- isn't that how you do it?"

"I'd like rap a lot better if they sang, played instruments, had talent, and didn't rap."

"Once I saw a blind man touching a cheese grater at Ikea. He said: ""who wrote this bullshit"""

"I wish this cop would stop riding my ass, it makes me paranoid. I also wish he'd turn his sirens off and stop trying to shoot out my tires."

"Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking in tents! ...I'll see myself out."

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793. You were too lazy to read that number."

"How do you get to the front page of Reddit? Take a racist joke and throw Donald Trumps name in the title."